I don't really feel the need wave my "Gold Star" status around like some medal. I don't really think it's important or defining. But it becomes important when people start characterizing it as a myth. That is, when lots of people saying because they have never personally met a lesbian that has never slept with a man, they must not exist. (Though I think some these women have only met 4 lesbians.)
So, I'm just here to say that I exist. Thank you.
And there's more!
I'm monogamous and I've never cheated. I'm over 30 and came out when I was 17. My sexuality has never been fluid.
It gets weirder.
I've been with my girlfriend for 13 years and she is the only person I have ever had sex with.
Yes, I had other opportunities. However I picked....wait for it...abstinence. Like on purpose. For reals.
There are two reasons why I chose this. The first is because it was the mid 90s, and the gay community was all about safe sex education and HIV prevention. I went to an LGBT youth group and learned all about how gays and lesbians practice safe sex. Guys have condoms. Girls have saran wrap, gloves and dental dams. It sounds like lesbians have sex at the dentist's office. Even though HIV among lesbians is among the lowest, given the insularity of the lesbian community, an epidemic could happen if certain conditions were present.
The second reason is, the girls I dated were a bit promiscuous and confused. For me, the moment I came out, everything was clear. So, I felt it would just be less complicated if I waited until I was dating someone who was sure of what she wanted. I didn't want to confuse someone more, or her confuse me. Sex complicates things. Unless, I guess, you're not very attached to the person you're having sex with. Which is just not something I'm into. For me, sex has always been about attachment, bonding and intimacy...that's the only reason I ever wanted to have it.
Oddly enough, I had sex with my girlfriend days after I met her. I spoken to her online for a year though. And then one date and that's all it took. Well, I never said I needed a contract before I had sex. Just something that wasn't casual experimentation. Because I never felt the need for experimentation. I just knew what I wanted and waited for it.
But still, being part of this community, of course I've seen many dating dramas. People dating their ex's ex and what not. It's exhausting just watching it.
