I am guilty of being too queer-oriented. I connect everything to being queer. I read queer news and queer blogs. I comment on them, and I talk about being queer. I tweet links to queer news, queer culture and queer activism. I listen to queercore and queer musicians. I pay attention to where legislation is in the system and how it's worded and how it affects queer people.
And I wonder, what's so wrong with that?
There are a lot of things that are of interest to me. I read the New York Times and the Washington Post. The cable news channel I watch the most is NorthWest Cable News. I like Sci-Fi, Fantasy Fiction, technology and comic books.
However, if all I ever tweeted or commented on or talked about was Sci-Fi, Fantasy Fiction, technology and comic books, people would just call me a geek. I am a geek. But I don't think I've ever heard of anyone being accused of being too geek-oriented. A geek is a geek because of the things that are of interest to them and the degree they are of interest to them.
Why is it okay to turn an interest into a trait, and to be defined by your interests as long as that interest isn't something inherent or immutable like sexual orientation, gender or race? Why do the traits which we have no apparent choice in need to be made insignificant? Perhaps since we have no choice in them, those without those traits don't want them to become special. Or perhaps people with those traits don't want to be defined by something which they have no control over.
White people, men, cisgender people and heterosexuals are already treated as special by virtue of being thought of as the default in our society. When those who are not the default are tricked into believing there's nothing special about being the alternative to the default, they stop rebelling.
I am queer-oriented because I am queer. Being queer is part of how I experience life. My experience has taught me about life, humanity, society, politics and community. I have learned to embrace the Absurd and to not turn away from things that appear to create contradictions. I have learned to not reject something that seems irrational just because it doesn't seem to fit into some box or category. Being queer has given me a perspective that I find valuable. And yes, it has given my life meaning and a sense of self. Because it was only upon reflection of myself that I even realized I am queer to begin with.
My life is my experience. I am who I am because of my experience. And most of my knowledge comes from my experience. I wouldn't be the same person if I weren't queer. I'm not going to apologize or feel guilty for that as there is nothing negative about it. So when someone says I am being too queer-oriented, I take that as saying I'm being too queer. If a straight person finds my queer focus alienating, then they know for a moment what it feels like to be alienated. It is, of course, better when straight people stop to think about what they have in common with a queer person and try to relate instead of immediately rejecting.
My experience is not a universal queer experience. No one's experience is universal. But in the end we're all connected in some way. It's important that we face the big stuff--the things that affect us all--together. And we only learn which things affect us all by sharing our experiences and finding the things we have in common. That's why it's important to share your experiences and reflections and learn about each other.
